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Crossing Over- Just in the nick of time

May 15, 2014

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On a stormy night last year when lightening sliced across a summer sky and fear exploded inside my chest, I navigated by car across a familiar bridge. The storm and the bridge are metaphors for my life at the time; harsh and relentless and fantastically real.  In the first few years of my fourth decade of life, I worked my way through a grand implosion and rose like the phoenix in the space between.  The space between is a place of transformation and healing where the former self fades away and a new self is born. When the storm raged around me on that fateful night I made a conscious  decision to abandon the fear. It was the beginning of my crossing over from the space between to the warmth of the sun. The very next day I went to work and met the man I will soon be marrying. Our paths intersected through a crisis at work where we were both called to assist and support our people. I did not understand this at the time but now it all makes perfect sense- why it took me so long to find him and why I needed to feel the pain of the implosion and the space between. His eyes are the color of the Caribbean sea and whenever I see my own darkness he sees only my light. There was a time I feared my love would destroy me; there were seasons of love so cold I felt a wind in my soul. Now with him I am grounded in sunshine; I am warmed and healed by the light of his love. Several years ago when I felt such a deep longing for my life to transform, I had a dream about crossing a bridge. My dear departed grandmother allowed me to ask her a question so I asked her if I would ever get to experience the joys of motherhood. “I am proud of you” she said, and then she continued; “you are almost there, you are crossing the bridge. You will find your way; just in the nick of time.”  Perhaps we all must learn to cross ourselves over and find our way in the nick of time. Some of us cross early while others cross late; what matters is not so much how or when we get there but the lessons we learn along the way. I stand here today in a healthy place with my self intact and a once in a lifetime kind of love that shines like the sun. Just in the nick of time like my dear grandmother promised  I transcended the grand implosion and the space between and landed exactly where I am meant to be.

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