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What is home, exactly?

October 24, 2014

One of my favorite bloggers, Angie Mizzell, posted a recent video to her website at In the video Angie challenged her readers to consider when and how we feel most at home in our lives. Angie’s video reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place and the ideas and concepts that have always inspired me as a writer. Because my writing is my home. Because when I felt lost and adrift for so much of my life, it was my writing that healed me and set me free. Because the concept of finding my home in a physical and spiritual sense has been a primary theme in my writing for so many years now, it has become as much a part of me as the blood that flows inside of my veins.

In my early twenties following college graduation, I resisted the shackles of routine and convention and dedicated myself to living a regret free life. Through those turbulent and restless years of young adulthood, the concept of home defined my existence. My search for a spiritual home with life affirming roots and a sense of belonging was a painful journey with so many twists and turns. I wrote the following words before I even started this blog, long before I fully comprehended their full meaning: You cannot find home anywhere and you cannot feel at home with anyone until you first find home inside of yourself. In the heated turmoil that defined my youth I understood these words intellectually but I did not live and breathe them. I embarked on grand, solitary adventures in search of something spectacular only to return feeling more lonely and adrift.

What is home really; and when in my own life do I feel most at home? How can we construct our lives in such a way that we feel positively connected to our passions and dreams; thereby living authentically in alignment with our true inner voice? For me, the answer to these questions did not manifest until my fourth decade of life. I had to travel full circle through heartbreak and pain before I learned to be still and fortify my roots. Because you cannot find home anywhere and you cannot feel at home with anyone until you first find home inside of yourself. I cannot say these words often enough; they have become a mantra that guides me through life.

Home is quiet and stillness and trusting the self. It is a fantastically flawed woman in her fourth decade of life who celebrates her humanity and imperfections with pride. Home is learning to love the self without condition so we can love those around us without losing our way. It is truth and forgiveness and loss and rebirth. Home is not the bells and whistles and accolades in life, it is the joy that comes from the most ordinary things. A quiet morning on the back porch with my husband; drinking our coffee and sharing our thoughts. Helping a client to access the endless reservoirs of strength and wisdom that live within each of us; yes these are the moments that set me free. The exquisitely simple pleasures and familiar rhythms of life are the grounding forces that bring me home.

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